The Steeple Squigs Update: Jan 2024

ALL IN | 1.19.24

Hello from Los Angeles

We are steamrolling into the new year, y’all! I’ve been putting off writing this newsletter because I want to share some things that are very personal and very important to me, which has proven to be hard to write. I know this audience is the perfect place to be vulnerable and feel safe, so here goes.

In December I took another trip to Germany to see Dr. Mueller-Wolfhardt and his team. I believe the treatments will be beneficial in the long run, but it sure is exhausting in the short term. There’s a lot of appointments all week with the doc, a chiropractor, a physio, and a strength trainer. I also got 2 different MRIs done to check in on some structures we are keeping an eye on. I struggle a little with how much of my health journey that I want to share because it’s obviously very personal and I’m going through it in real time. It’s a physical and mental journey, with both components being challenging in different ways. There are some athletes (think: Allie Ostrander) who I really admire who have done a great job of sharing their journey while it’s happening instead of waiting until everything works out to say “wow that was tough.” With that in mind, I’m going to endeavor to share some of what I’m working through right now.

1. Do less, slow down

At this point many voices are saying the same thing: I’m doing too much and need to slow down and take things off my plate so I can focus on my training and recovery. Other athletes often say a version of “I don’t know how you do so much stuff!” but the truth is I feel like I’m not doing any of it super well. I love doing all the things outside of sport that also fill me up (USATF Athlete Commission, The Track Collective, media and social media, sponsor obligations, being my own agent, etc), and when I’m injured I want to pour myself into those other things more in order to find gratification. My body can’t heal and can’t perform at it’s best when I’m stretching myself too thin. I keep getting this feedback and it’s time to listen and take action towards “making the main thing the main thing.”

2. Keep it simple

My issue with my physical health sometimes feel so confusing and complicated. It’s important for me and my team to make it simple, take all the pieces that feel like they are flying around and tie them down to just a couple main bullet points to focus my time and energy on. And then recognize that no one is perfect, and everyone has asymmetries and weaknesses. While I’m working to get stronger and move better, perfection is impossible.

3. Protecting my peace

We all get to choose who we surround ourselves with. I don’t have to spend any time with anyone who doesn’t make me feel good inside. This is true for personal relationships as well as professional ones. I’ve had to cut a few medical professionals out of my life because of the way they made me feel emotionally about my injuries. Words are important and everyone has an ego and an opinion. If someone isn’t intentional with their words or makes me feel worse rather than better, they’re not the right fit for me and I need to immediately move on.

4. Getting back to the real me

When I’m in physical pain, there’s a part of my energy that is constantly going towards that. Even when I’m not actively working out. I know I can’t show up 100% for others when I’m not 100% myself. Everyone ebbs and flows- no one is at 100% absolutely all of the time. However, I haven’t considered myself fully healthy for 4-ish years, constantly dealing with physical pain and the emotional pain that comes along with that. That makes me distracted, short-tempered, tired, and distant. The people in my life who show up for me and love me deserve better. This is my biggest motivation for getting mentally and physically healthy.

I have kind of alluded to this over the last year, but I wanted to just write it down clearly and put it out there for everyone.

This will be my last year as a track and field athlete. If the section above about my health struggles didn’t paint a clear enough picture for you, it’s been a tough few years. I was always thinking that 2024 would probably be my last Olympics to do the steeplechase, but maybe I would have kept going a few more years if my body was feeling good and I was having fun. The truth is that I haven’t had much fun with the sport lately and I am really struggling with constantly feeling either injured or on the verge of my next injury. Just seeing a track workout on my schedule revs up my anxiety and makes me feel on edge. And I’ll tell ya- that’s no way to live.

The amazing part of this story is that I have found my way into another possible professional career in sport. I never would have dreamed this for myself and I honestly still can’t believe that I have a bike and swim sponsor now and have already competed in 2 triathlons. Who is this person???

So 2024 will be my last hoorah on the track. I feel at peace approaching it this way. I want to do as many races as I can, do races I love, and do races I’ve never been to. This will mean toeing the line even when I’m not exactly ready to crush and doing it anyways, 

My ultimate goal is to be strong and healthy and competing at the best of my ability at the Olympic Trials June 21-30 in Eugene, OR. I truly believe that if I can do that, I will be on Team USA again. And wouldn’t that just be so fun???

For the next 6 months I’m all in on track and field one. last. time. My good friend, Alexi Pappas, told me that the bravest thing I could do is eliminate all the excuses and be all in on my goal, really putting myself out there for everyone to see. I didn’t realize that until she pointed it out and the fact of it simultaneously terrified me and excited me… so I think she must be right!

With all that being said, I want to say a big thank you to each one of you who takes the time to read this newsletter and engage with me. I love being able to share this with you- it makes it so much more fun. My hope for each one of you is that you take on a big challenge in 2024- an Olympic-sized challenge if you will- and you go for it with your whole heart. It could be anything, but make it something that terrifies you a bit. Feel free to share it with me if you want some accountability. I’m here for you, bestie.

Love,

Colleen